Being married is fabulous. Seriously. It is so incredibly wonderful that I’m constantly on cloud nine (even if that cloud gets a little foggy and grey sometimes).
My boss is a marriage and relationship counselor and although my hunk of a man and I don’t need a counselor, we talk about relationships all time. I think that consists of the bulk of why I love my job-- my boss (weird, right?). Today we were discussing how marriages fall apart and some of the things couples could do to keep them together. She brought out this list and I absolutely love it! Sorry men, it’s basically focused on women.
Oh, and the best part? This list was created by a woman who had been married for over 50 years:)
10 Best Things You Can Do For Love
1. Don’t try to change what you fell for.
I see friends a year or so into their marriages and they aren’t happy. They thought that they could change their man (or woman) as the years went on. They fell for one person, but wanted another. Realize that if they don’t expect you to change, don’t expect them to change.
2. Be silly.
DO IT. Laugh, be crazy, have food fights, beat each other (lovingly) with pillows, play tag, hide from each other....do anything you can to keep the youth and the happiness alive. Besides, laughing adds years to your life---why not laugh with the love of your life? :)
3. Stop asking “Do I look fat?”
(my husband just laughs when I ask him this...still can’t decide if that means “yes” or “no” haha)
Men like a confident woman. Every time you ask him this you are either 1) looking for a compliment, or 2) you are seriously insecure. He married (or is dating) you! He loves you and he sees a beautiful woman. Jeff always says that I’m disrespecting what he loves, or that I’m offending his opinion when I put myself down. Interesting thought, huh?
4. Don’t nag!
Trick him into doing what you asked him to do hours ago....he’ll think it’s his idea and that is even better! Nagging makes him think you see him as being incapable of doing something on his own.
5. Don’t skimp out on pillow talk.
Ever. When we are sleepy, our defenses are down and we are more emotionally present and open. Some of my favorite memories are when Jeff and I are winding down for the night, we’ve thanked God for the day, and are just relaxing in bed. We share dreams, stories about our day, and how we feel about this or that. For some reason, less light allows someone to feel more open.
6. Compliment his skills in bed.
Seriously. Even something little like “You were great last night” can make him feel better.
Men are actually most loving when they feel manly, and nothing makes a man feel more manlier than being praised for his love-making skills. Keep it simple. And don’t wait for a response--just walk away. Don’t look for a return compliment because you gave the praise as a gift. Then watch how he’ll make an effort to be good to you after that.7. Indulge in his passions.
If he comes home raving about a car, house, hobby, etc., ask him questions! My husband is obsessed with building homes and developing land. He’ll come home every day with a new idea or business venture and I love it! I indulge him in his passions, just like he indulges mine. It brings us closer.
8. Have a secret language.
Yeah, it sounds like elementary school, but trust me, it is worth it! It can be facial expressions, a look, hand squeezes, or a simple type of touch. Your “language” can communicate anything you need it to-- and get you out of sticky situations if you’re stuck talking to someone boring! My husband and I unknowingly started our own secret language in the first month we started dating. A hand squeeze or simple look has become very useful!
9. Get yourself in the mood.
Yes, ladies, I’m talking to you. We all know guys are almost always revved up and ready to go. As women, it may take us a little bit. Prepare yourself for sex. Get your motors running by thinking of your partner’s sexiest qualities, dream of your ideal sexual encounter, for at least 10 minutes every day.
My boss and I died laughing over this one. It is so relatable. She called men a microwave (easily and quickly heated) while women are more like ovens (it takes longer to heat up).
10. Keep the halo effect.
People let anger over one thing poison their whole view. Suddenly your partner is annoyingly different, unattractive, and selfish. Keep positive images and thoughts front and center.
Couples always let just one thing bother them, and then another problem evolves and eventually they pile up and your base is junk. Nothing halo-pretty about that.
Hopefully these 10 things keep the love alive in your life :)
