Being a recent college graduate, I have realized that when I
thought I was an “adult”…I really wasn’t. I remember after high school
graduation we thought we were so
grown up and knew all about being an “adult”.
High school definition of adult: the ability to do whatever you
want, when you want; legal status; legit access to all things grand in this
world; no school (if you so choose); freedom.
Then we hit college (psst…
high school doesn’t prepare you for college. Really. They lie to you). All of a
sudden we are given freedom (cue
heraldic angels singing in the background). Our teachers don’t care if we miss
class because if we do, it is our decision because we are “adults”. They also
do not give one hoot if you don’t turn in your assignments, because, once
again, we choose whether or not to do so because we are “adults”. Some of us
worked either full or part time during college and that created another
decision for us to make as “adults”. Do we work and sleep? Or do we work, play,
get no sleep and hate ourselves the next day? Such tough choices.
College
definition of adult: the realization that we don’t have as much freedom as
we thought (there are things such as laws that can get you in trouble); college
is easier but ten times harder than high school; we actually have to apply
ourselves; application to either work or college, or both, is extremely more
taxing than previously thought; being responsible is getting to class on time,
getting papers turned in, and staying remotely social.
“And now we present to you…the Class of 2013!” (Applause, applause, applause, I live for the
applause, applause… sorry, had to.) aaaaaaaaand…BAM! You’re an adult! Really? I thought we had
already achieved the “adult status” in life. I became responsible, I turned in
my papers on time (well, relatively…some due dates were ridiculously tight),
and I had a job that I kept since high school. What more do you want?! Well,
children, the adults want more of your soul. Yep. Forget the weekend parties or
purely social functions. Forget sleeping in until 9 or 10. Just forget
everything they told you in high school and
college, because neither of those prepares you for what the real world really
is. Okay, it isn’t really that bad, and your soul isn’t sucked out of you by a
soul-starving dementor. You just get a slap in the face.
My junior year of college I mapped out what I wanted to do
when I graduated. I wanted to join the Peace Corps for a couple of years and
then travel and become an ethnographer (someone who studies people/cultures in
that particular culture’s element). I didn’t need to really look for a job in
my home town because I was planning on leaving. I had an internship and a job
with my City’s Mayor’s Office, and my part time job but other than that I
didn’t spend time on networking. Well, two months into my senior year I was
married (to an incredible man, I might add). Plans changed and suddenly, I
realized my dad was right (yep, I said it). As adult as I thought
I was, I still wasn’t up to par because I couldn’t see that plans don’t always
work and you always need to prepare for, and expect, changes.
Post-college adult:
frantically searching for a job because you didn’t plan for the future because
you thought you had everything planned out; lost; bereft; tearing your hair
out; wondering when things got so expensive; your parents were right all along;
dang, that BS certificate looks
goooood on your wall.
I was stuck in a rut for months after graduation. Every
company wanted experience. Three to
five years of it. What?! And my degree was so focused on cultural
studies and people that my communication degree all of a sudden became
detrimental to my search. Everyone wanted a communication graduate who could do
PR work, write media campaigns or advertising. Uh….I can tell you what a person
is feeling by watching them, or I can tell you how their relationship with that
person is, or I can tell you how their particular culture and background forms
who they are. I don’t do advertising.
Just as I realized my husband had married a child (he
already has his dream job and is successful), I got job offers. So-and-so heard
from so-and-so that I was good at such-and-such and voila! I had interviews.
While I may not have ended up where I wanted to after I graduated,
I’m learning more about myself and what I can and cannot do because I was
thrown into this adult world, flailing and protesting, without a life jacket.
I’m still at my two jobs I’ve had for years, but I’m moving up in them and I
love it. I realize more and more that being an “adult” does mean you are responsible, dependable, honest, and trustworthy.
But it also means that you can take changes and fly with them. Being an adult
isn’t just one thing, it is a million different things put together. Sure we
have the certain freedom we wanted as teenagers, but what is more important is
how we use that freedom.
Life’s definition of an adult:
having attained full size and strength; grown up and mature….and may I add,
using that full size and strength to keep learning, growing, and using the
freedom of being an adult to better yourself and the lives of others.
"I believe I owe all the best parts of my adulthood to embracing my imperfections and showcasing them." -Beth Ditto
"A child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong." -Thomas S. Szasz
