Life...years later

It's been a while since I've written on this blog. Life seems to have an "overdrive" button and some toddler has pushed it too many times....which, is kind of what happened!

The last 3-ish years have brought many changes for me and my husband. We moved into a house, went on amazing vacations...and had a surprise. Baby. BOOM! Surprise!

In July 2014, I started feeling super weird during a family trip. I was overtired, had weird dreams (like, zombies and talking dinosaurs mixed in with psychedelic music), and I also started gaining weight despite following a strict nutrition and weight training plan. After the trip, my husband pushed me to take a pregnancy test to prove I wasn't pregnant....I thought the tests was lying to me the first time I saw those double pink lines! I laughed. I cried. I laughed some more. I cried even harder.

Omigosh! I'm pregnant?! WHAT?! What am I going to do? How did this happen?! (for the record, I definitely know how and even where it happened....) What am I going to tell J?! This wasn't a part of our plans! What about Europe?! Our trips?!

Needless to say, I was kind of scared to tell my SO. We had so many plans that had to be placed to the side while we prepped for a tiny, totally dependent human being to join our family.

I surprised Jeff that night after I panicked and talked to our Aunt who was a Nurse Practitioner in my OB/GYN's office at the time. Yes, you can trust the store bought tests.

My best friend called me seconds after I saw the two pink lines for the first time and immediately guessed what was happening since I was so scatter brained.

I feel bad, but J was the third person to know I was expecting! Oh well. He was ecstatic and immediately started planning and helping me prepare. I think he had a worse case of "nesting" than I did!

So in March 2015 we welcomed Lil' R into our family and it has been fast-paced ever since! I hardly have time to take a shower, let alone sit down and write what words are flowing through my mind. I hate to think about the amazing poems or stories I could have written down, but then I remember how important it is for me to be a part of my son's life. How important it is that I show him how much he is loved and cherished.

It is truly amazing how much little ones absorb the energies and auras around them! I am in a constant state of surprise as I watch Lil' R mimic his father's actions (for the men out there, realize that when you tap/slap your wife's butt, your children are watching and will one day copy you. Just saying.).

Lil' R always looks to me or his daddy for applause, appreciation, and explanations. He will point to something and then look at me with an expectant look on his face, just begging to be told what is that fascinating light fixture and how does it work and how does it relate to this massive world we live in? His curiosity astounds me and helps me look at the world I've come to know through new eyes.

Instead of looking at a garden and seeing "just flowers", I now see the way they move in the wind, the textures of their petals and leaves, and how they feel against my fingertips. I notice the bumble bees that buzz back and forth, and the dirt that protects the fragile root systems. Lil' R absolutely loves being outside, so I tend to watch the weather more, as well. I notice when the sun is shining particularly bright, or how the clouds move with the sway of the tree line. I recognize the patterns rain drops leave on my driveway and how they soothe my skin.

I'm relearning this world one day at a time, one moment at a time, because of my son.

Life is interesting. We think we know or have it all, until someone (or some thing) comes into our life that changes our perspective.

My life may be crazy; too crazy to write or to take time for my own personal moments of reflection. But that does not mean I am not living my life to its fullest.

I'm actually excited for my son to wake up from his nap today because it means we get to go outside and explore rocks, leaves, grass shavings, cars, dogs, cats, tree bark, and the slide at the park. It means I will be taught a brand new lesson that I haven't been taught before.

Some days, that is the best thing. Ever.